As discussed on page 97 of our text, increasing knowledge of protected sex for adolescents does not increase their initial or existing rate of sexual activity. It actually prolongs initial behavior and increases the rate of safety in existing practice among adolescents. (Alexander, LaRosa, Bader & Garfield, 2007) With these statistics, it makes you wonder why anyone would object to sexual education being provided in our schools by credible health educators.
Many parents feel that it is the responsibility of the parents and should be left at their discretion. This stirs up memories of childhood friends who told me that you couldn't get pregnant the first few days after your period ended, that you couldn't get pregnant your first time, and that sexually transmitted diseases only existed in the adult world.
Adolescents should be told the truth! They should know that oral sex is sex. In fact, they should be knowledgeable of all sexual acts and the diseases and consequences associated with each. They should know the majority of adolescents will discuss their intimate experience with others and may or may not add false details. Girls should know that getting pregnant does not obligate a boy to marry them or take advantage of their visitation rights. Boys should know the mandated child support payment amounts they will be responsible for and that the amount can increase as new financial goals in their lives are realized.
Many adolescents feel peer pressure and may feel as though they need to face their fear to adhere to their age group's subjective norm. Good advice for such teens would be, to tell them if they are too shy or embarrassed to walk in a store to purchase contraceptives, they are not ready. If they are too shy or embarrassed to ask their physician or health care professional for advice, even in private, they are not ready. They should know beyond any doubt that the decision to engage in sexual activity is not just emotionally life changing, but also physically life changing. Becoming active subjects their bodies to life threatening disease. They should know that even when engaging in an intimate act with a self proclaimed virgin, that person may not be telling the truth. And when they do feel ready, there should be an open line of communication should it be needed. If a parent does not feel comfortable with this, they could provide the name and number of a medical professional or credible clinic. A teen should never be made to feel they are a disappointment or source of shame for be sexually active. This may increase the likelihood that they will delay seeking treatment if a related complication or emergency should occur. Parents should remember that subjective norms change and that they are a least a generation removed from their children. And that as uncomfortable as they may feel when their child seeks guidance, the feeling pales in comparison to how they would feel if their child came to them to reveal they had contracted an incurable sexually transmitted disease.
Kally Smith
Alexander, L.L., LaRosa, J.H., Bader, H. & Garfield, S. (2007). New dimensions in women's health. Sudbury, Massachusetts: Jones & Bartlett
Kally,
ReplyDeleteI agree with you that teens need to know the truth. When I was growing up and went to my mom and asked her to have the "talk" with me, she about fell over. She told me that I didn't need to worry about it and not to do anything because it was wrong since I was not married. I asked my grandma my mom's mom and she said that girls didn't need to talk about stuff like that. I went to my grandma just see if I could figure out why mom would not say anything. It was because she was told the same thing growing up. I finally went to a friend's mom and she explained everything to me. We also had sex education in school but it wasn't the same. I have a 15 year old step daughter and I have told her she can come to me if she didn't feel comfortable with her mom. I also told her to remember that if she thought about becoming sexually active that she needed to remember if the boy has been with many partners, then she will have been too. I told her that's how STD's get spread. You could see the light bulb go off in her head. Hopefully that will help her.
If parents are not comfortable having the "talk" then they should let their kid get advise from a credible person like you said. If they choose to become active then the parent needs to be sure they are protected.The schools can only explain so much before they go over their bounderies.
I agree with teaching our children about sex as they are growing up. Schools can assist parents, but parents must be involved in teaching their own values about sex to their children. I have a friend who decided long before her daughters were of age to be sexually active just how she would react if they ever came home pregnant without being married. Because she was prepared, she reacted as a support system when her youngest daughter announced she was pregnant. My friend had been very open and honest concerning sex as her children were growing up, but even educating them to the best of her ability did not prevent problems, but because she was open, they knew they could talk to her openly when they needed to. Her daughter didn't ever keep the pregnancy a secret because "mom & dad will kill me or disown me". She knew her parents didn't believe in pre-marital sex, but she also knew that she was loved and accepted unconditionally.
ReplyDeleteI agree with you. My mother was very open with me. I have two boys and the oldest one is 16. I am very open and honest with. I know that he and I always talk and he is aware of the consequences. I remeber having the talk with him at a very young age. Another thing that I do mention to him is that we are from a minority group, education comes first.
ReplyDeleteOMG!! This is why I am going to school to be a health educator. More so in the deaf community because they tend to be the best victims of predators. I totally believe that parents should talk to their kids depending on their maturity level, but some as soon as middle school!! My parents never acted like sex didn't exist, they just said it was for adults. Hypocritically, they had sex and my mother became pregnant at 15 years old. However, they are a rare case that immediately got married and have been for 30 years now. Most teen pregnancies don't end up that way. I strongly agree with your statement that if they are too shy talking about it with professionals then they are too young to deal with the consequences of sexual activity.
ReplyDeleteKally,
ReplyDeleteI totally agree with you about educating adolescents about sex. If I had children I would want my children's school to educate them about sex as long as it was credible information from a professional. I want my children to be comfortable talking to me about sex because I do not want them to go to their friends for the education.I can remember when I thought you could get pregnant by kissing because my peers were saying that. I feel that it is a good idea for the parents and the school to participate in sex education. I believe that if more parents and schools would educate the children about sex, there would be less teenage pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases among adolescents.
Kally,
ReplyDeleteThis was one of the best laid out arguments for sex education that I've ever read. Seriously. You provided a clear, logical, honest overview of the importance of one making an educated decision regarding sexual intimacy.